Monthly Archives: April 2009
Frantic writer struggles to finish awful script before Nicholl deadline
Poorly plotted thriller submitted just in time, as if it matters Aspiring screenwriter Jeff Bradley wasted three sick days and further alienated his live-in girlfriend as he frantically put the finishing touches on his clichéd, paint-by-numbers Nicholl entry that is … Continue reading
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Filed under Industry News, Writers
Simon Cowell criticizes self while masturbating
‘I don’t know whether to blow my wad or throw up!’
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Filed under Industry News
Script Track – April 28, 2009
Spittoon Boy When a traveling theatre company arrives in town, a 10-year-old boy who works as a spittoon cleaner in 19th century Kansas realizes his true calling as an opera singer. Writer: Emery Donald-Vershook Dr. Badnovel or: How I Pissed … Continue reading
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Filed under Industry News, Script Track
MacGyver film scrapped after producers realize Richard Dean Anderson is like 73
‘Not even strong enough to rip a piece of duct tape’ After prematurely jumping on the 1980’s remake bandwagon, foolhardy producers recently admitted the film has no chance to move forward due to Richard Dean Anderson’s extreme old age. “The … Continue reading
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Filed under Actors, Industry News
Matthew McConaughey spotted wearing shirt
Only second fully-clothed sighting since 2003
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Filed under Actors, Industry News
Script Track – April 21, 2009
DILF Three horny college girls bet on who can sleep with their sorority sister’s hot Dad (a DILF) first. Writer: Sally Johnson Early Retirement A 35-year-old accountant decides to cash in his 401k and retire in a third world country, … Continue reading
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Filed under Industry News, Script Track
CAA officials find Endeavor-WMA merger extremely cute
‘Aw, that’s so nice for them’ says Lourd With reports coming in that the Endeavor-WMA merger is basically a done deal, many industry observers are interested to see whether the new company will take a run at Creative Artists Agency, … Continue reading
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Filed under Agent Talk, Industry News
Script Track – April 14, 2009
The Hamburglar Goes To Jail Based on the true story of the man behind the mask, who was incarcerated in 2006 for felony assault, but continues to proclaim his innocence. Writer: Jared Landau Bossland A depressed accountant is transported to … Continue reading
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Filed under Script Track
WMA and Endeavor nix merger just to prove Nikki Finke wrong
‘Her shrill reign of terror has gone on long enough’ say agency officials Negotiations between William Morris and Endeavor had been riddled with personnel and structural disagreements for weeks, but the agencies finally agreed to call off merger talks for … Continue reading
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Filed under Execs, Industry News
