Script Track – May 12, 2009

Fetal Attraction
A man becomes obsessed with the woman he impregnated during a one-night stand, only to realize this means she’s going to have his baby. He soon wants nothing to do with her. Based on 20 million true-life stories.
Writer: Alex Varner

Furstarter
After being bitten her pet hamster Speedy, a creepy young girl is imbued with an uncontrollable curse: humans spontaneously grow thick patches of animal fur whenever she sneezes.

Junk In The Trunk
Animated tale of an overweight elephant that goes on a diet to snag the male elephant of her dreams, but eventually meets a rhinoceros that accepts her for who she is. Kirstie Alley attached to voice lead role.
Writer: John Lasseter

Screenwriter meets two more producers who will never hire him

WGA member Steve Delkin’s last paid writing gig was in 2004, but that hasn’t stopped the insurance salesman from going to yet another dead-end meeting with producers.

“You don’t walk into a meeting thinking it will lead to work,” said Delkin, moments after meeting with Suzanne and Jennifer Todd of Team Todd. “The key is to plant enough seeds around town, and eventually one of them will grow into an assignment.”

The theory has yet to work for Delkin, who gained notoriety in 2004 when his spec comedy ‘Drama Zone’ was purchased by Paramount. Since that project ended, however, Delkin has met with 168 different producers and development people without landing more work.

“I’m not a one-hit wonder,” said Delkin. “Technically, I am, but the point is I’m out there meeting people…something’s going to break.”

In the meantime, Delkin has “rediscovered his flair for sales” as a life insurance agent for State Farm.

David Mamet breaks own record for f-bombs in script

New drama ‘Laced’ features 652 obscenities

Script Track – May 5, 2009

Cinco de Gay-O
A homophobic lawyer mysteriously turns gay for 24 hours, and must somehow get through his company’s Cinco de Mayo festivities without cheating on his fiancée, but he also has to learn a valuable lesson that nobody – no matter their lifestyle – should be discriminated against.
Writer: Tony Gilroy

Twitterati
Based on the true story of a fashion reporter who had like two million Twitter followers, but gave it all up for the love of her life, a man who didn’t even have a Facebook page.
Reese Witherspoon attached to star.

Swishbucklers
A ragtag group of basketball-playing pirates have wild adventures on the high seas.
Writer: Johnny Phelps

Experts worry Cameron’s ‘Avatar’ may explode your brain upon viewing

‘Could also force you to crap yourself’

James Cameron has always been known as a technical pioneer, but he may be poised to take things a little too far with his upcoming Avatar movie, set to hit theaters late this year. According to several reliable sources, the new film is so visually stunning, it will rupture both your head and your ass.

“Remember when kids were having seizures because of Pokémon?” asked Thomas Herlander of UCLA’s Brain Research Lab. “That was nothing. When this movie hits Imax, we could be talking about mass death and defecation. People simply cannot handle this type of entertainment.”

But the warnings have only fueled even more interest in the pic among the studio’s core audience.

“I can’t wait to have my brain blown up!” posted Geek4Lyfe on the popular site aintitcool.com. “And I can’t remember the last time a movie made me drop a deuce. It’s gonna be killer!”