Scribe’s father more proud of daughter’s yams than her scripts

‘Cooking is her real talent’
After eating a third helping of the candied yams his daughter made for Thanksgiving, Allan Wilson beamed with pride.
“Now these are damn good yams,” he said to his wife Margaret. “Rhonda should cook for a living, instead of wasting her life writing sappy romantic comedies while she works double shifts at [...]

Top 10 Things Overheard At Hollywood Thanksgiving Day Parties

10. “Is it me, or do these yams look like Meg Ryan?”
9. “If the guy didn’t want to work for free, why did he become a writer in the first place?”
8. “I heard Ari’s party had three turkeys.”
7. “I’ll be right back, I have to post 10 more positive reviews of New Moon on Metacritic.”
6. [...]

James Wan horrifies Thanksgiving Day guests with live turkey beheading

Also spends two hours mutilating potatoes

The 2009 Turkey List

Introducing Hollywood’s most questionable spec scripts of the year. Wow.

2009 Turkey List (PDF)

Script Track – November 24, 2009

Gobble Time
A small New England town holds the first annual Thanksgiving Day eating contest, but things go horribly awry when the whole town falls asleep because of all the tryptophan.
Writer: Alex Jones
Plymouth Rocker
Based on the 17th century account of a Pilgrim musician.
Uncle Ken
A man is excommunicated from his family and city when he injures his [...]

‘Twilight’ frenzy causes Earth to stop spinning

Most significant planetary event since Big Bang
The Earth literally paused on its axis this weekend as a direct effect of the immeasurable hysteria created by the teen vampire sequel New Moon.
“We’ve been monitoring the situation since early summer,” said MIT professor Lance Bauman. “The trailer alone sent shockwaves through the planet felt on both poles [...]

90% of aspiring scribe’s coworkers better writers than him

Wannabe screenwriter less talented than boss, secretary and janitor
Aspiring screenwriter Joe Grable has written more than a dozen scripts since 2002, but despite his belief to the contrary, this doesn’t mean he’s a better writer than his coworkers.
“Everyone at the office is jealous because they know I’ll be a big Hollywood writer someday,” said Grable, [...]

Producer shocked to learn ‘garbage man’ a real job

Thought it was just something extras did in movies
Jeff Belsin has spent the last 15 years in the bubble of Hollywood, detached from reality. So when his wife told him the garbage man didn’t take the refrigerator they left out behind the house, Belsin was perplexed.
“Wait, garbage men are real? People literally go around picking [...]

Script Track – November 17, 2009

Macintouch
Steve Jobs places a spell on a lifelong PC user, and now everything the man touches turns into a Mac product.
Writer: Alex Star
Wedding Planner Guy
A former SportsCenter host becomes a testosterone-crazed wedding planner that goes head-to-head with the bride’s wedding planner to ensure the groom’s special day isn’t too “girl-focused.”
Writer: Brent Berman
The Yellow Brick Roadie
Raunchy [...]

Closer inspection reveals Roland Emmerich is mostly CGI

Pixelated hair gives away veteran director’s dark secret