Scribe’s father more proud of daughter’s yams than her scripts

‘Cooking is her real talent’
After eating a third helping of the candied yams his daughter made for Thanksgiving, Allan Wilson beamed with pride.
“Now these are damn good yams,” he said to his wife Margaret. “Rhonda should cook for a living, instead of wasting her life writing sappy romantic comedies while she works double shifts at [...]

90% of aspiring scribe’s coworkers better writers than him

Wannabe screenwriter less talented than boss, secretary and janitor
Aspiring screenwriter Joe Grable has written more than a dozen scripts since 2002, but despite his belief to the contrary, this doesn’t mean he’s a better writer than his coworkers.
“Everyone at the office is jealous because they know I’ll be a big Hollywood writer someday,” said Grable, [...]

Nigerian screenwriter unable to convince Hollywood reps his email query isn’t a scam

‘Dear Esteemed Literary Agent…’ emails immediately trashed
Lagos-based screenwriter Amoka Denwar has not received a single response from his latest batch of query emails, which the 27-year-old Nigerian recently sent to more than 200 agents and managers.
“I don’t understand it,” said Denwar. “I’ve tried to be as professional as possible with my query. I simply request [...]

Aspiring writer spends six hours debating whether to sign release form

Also contemplates preemptively suing prodco for stealing premise
New Jersey scribe Allan Markum recently took the day off work to focus on “one of the biggest career decisions of his life.” Specifically, he was trying to decide whether he should sign Benderspink’s release form.
“I wasn’t comfortable with eleven aspects of the deal,” said Markum, referring to [...]

Russell Crowe totally excited about bartender’s romantic comedy script

Actor always on the lookout for scripts from strangers
International film star Russell Crowe couldn’t wait to get home last night so he could read bartender and aspiring screenwriter John Feingold’s romantic comedy “Drinking Buddies.”
“I came in looking for a beer,” said Crowe. “But I’m pretty sure I left with my next project. I mean, I’ve [...]

Producer offers screenwriter $0 in exchange for services

Scribe jumps at ‘great opportunity’
Despite making nearly $100,000 a year as an accountant, aspiring screenwriter Josh Pendleton has agreed to write a script for producer Kevin Dernier in exchange for absolutely nothing.
“It’s all about getting a foot in the door. At least that’s what Kevin tells me,” said Pendleton, eager to start work on his [...]

WGA study reveals 93% of screenwriters need more validation

Could also use additional praise and sympathy

Writer admits film festival pitch didn’t go exactly as planned

‘Telling David Boxerbaum to go fuck himself? That was a mistake’
Aspiring screenwriter Larry Bolan came to Austin in hopes of parlaying his sci-fi pitch into an offer of representation.
“Unfortunately, it didn’t really go down like that,” said the vacuum repair man from Akron, Ohio. “One minute I’m doing fine and the next thing I know [...]

Manager has no intention of ever sending out your script

Does plan on noting you to death, however
Evolution manager Alex Dernier really likes your romantic comedy screenplay “Love Ditty,” but he does have some notes.
“I know this is going to blow up most of the first two acts, and probably the third, but I think it’s necessary,” he emailed you yesterday. “We need to re-think [...]

Seth MacFarlane runs out of shows to steal comedy from