‘Won’t take any lip from either side’
In an effort to avert a second guild strike in less than a year, the government has assigned sassy TV personality Judge Judy as federal mediator in the ongoing AMPTP-SAG negotiations.
“We could not be happier with their choice,” said SAG executive director Doug Allen. “Judge Judy is in the unique position of understanding the law, Hollywood and negotiating tactics. Plus she’s got some ‘tude on her!”
The stern TV judge has promised to bring a quick end to the proceedings.
“I won’t stand for any shenanigans by these jerks,” she said, referring to both sides. “Between the whiny actors and the selfish, egotistical producers, we’ve got a whole lot of crybabies in this town. Well guess what? Playtime’s over!”
After just one day on the job, Judge Judy has already fostered an environment conducive to shouting, theatrics and simple life lessons.
“It’s going great!” said an AMPTP spokesperson. “I’ve never had this much fun crushing people’s dreams – anything goes when double-J is on the bench!”