‘Still did it, though’ says ten percenter
Literary agent Justin Grey has been snorting cocaine off the asses of Hollywood strippers for years, ever since he got promoted out of the CAA mailroom. But the hard economic times are starting to make Grey wonder if his days of hitting The Body Shop three nights a week will soon be over.
“With the way things are going, I treat every ass-snort as if it could be my last,” he said. “You just never know when that next big spec sale might go through. This market is so tough.”
Instead of cutting back on his habit, Grey has been brainstorming cheaper alternatives, should times get really desperate.
“Maybe I wouldn’t have to share so much blow with Spice or Destiny if I snorted it off their elbows instead,” said Grey. “That could save a bunch of money right there.”
When asked what his nightmare scenario would be, Grey didn’t blink:
“Smoking crack with a hooker,” he said. “God help me if it comes to that.”