Monthly Archives: February 2009

Robert McKee: “I could totally write a great script if I wanted to.”

Screenwriting guru would rather share gift than prove he has it

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Script Track – February 24, 2009

The Bookkeeper
Gripping tale of one bean counter’s harrowing journey as he brings down a casual dining restaurant chain.
Writer: Tony Gilroy
Based on John Grisham’s novel of the same name.

Frank Lloyd Wrong
The world’s worst architect is commissioned to design a town’s new municipal building, only to find out he was chosen because the outgoing Mayor wants to insult the city with the ugliest building ever created.
Writer: Ben Wexler

Cougar For Hire
Plot being kept under wraps. Jennifer Aniston attached to star.

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Most Americans still pretty sure actors come up with their own dialogue

Post-Oscar screenwriting awareness rises less than .001%

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Eric Roth hopes collagen wears off by Oscar night

Screenwriter goes overboard ‘trying to look like star’
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Script Track – February 17, 2009

DJ Grandma
A 64-year-old grandmother wins a sweepstakes from a soda company to DJ a celebrity party alongside Moby. When the grandma shows her spinning chops, she becomes the hottest DJ in Miami…but will her new career come at the expense of her bridge club?
Writer: Ethel Steinowitz

Birds of Pray
Set in the world of Christian bird watchers. Kirk Cameron attached to star.

Waxing Poetic
The true story of an investment banker who lost his high-paying job and was forced to make ends meet by working as the receptionist at a beauty salon, only to gain fame and (new) fortune blogging about his experience in poetry form.
Based on an article in Maxim magazine about the creator of the blog “Waxing Poetic.”

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Screenwriter confident agency readers won’t notice 9-point type

Behemoth World War II epic now a ‘breezy’ 118 pages

Josh Dernier had to pull out all the stops to get his script “Allied Forces” under the magic 120-page mark, but the Omaha-based screenwriter insists nobody will notice.

“The difference between 12-point type and 11-point type is imperceptible,” said Dernier. “So I shrunk it down another two points, reduced the margins to an eighth of an inch, and shipped that sucker out. Once people get engaged in the story, the script just flies by anyway.”

Despite Dernier’s confidence, WMA reader Allan Frampton knew something was off the moment he started reading Forces.

“I thought there was a lot of black on the page, but I figured I’d give it a chance,” he said. “When it took me a half-hour to get through eight pages, I knew something was up.”

According to UTA assistant Bob Tunney, margins and small type weren’t the script’s only problems.

“In addition to sucking, the dialogue blocks were almost as wide as the action paragraphs,” said Tunney. “And I don’t want to sound paranoid, but I think some of the page numbers were doubled up. I swear I was on page five for like twenty minutes.”

When asked the original page count of the script, Dernier was vague.

“It wasn’t like 200 or anything,” he said. “But it wasn’t 150, either. I can’t wait to hear back from those reps I sent it to.”

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Agent buys heartfelt Valentine’s Day gift for spouse, mistress

And assistant, who he’s also screwing

agent-talk-logoICM literary agent Bob Tromardi has always been a romantic, so it was no surprise when he recently spent nearly eight full minutes at Victoria’s Secret trying to decide on a Valentine’s Day gift for all the women he’s sleeping with.

“I’m a softy,” said Tromardi, moments before purchasing three identical sets of lingerie for his various sexual partners. “But I’m also kind of old-fashioned, so I picked out the gift based on what my wife would like most. She comes first.”

The red, bedazzled lingerie marks the fourth time Tromardi has given all the women in his life the exact same present.

“I just think it’s more fair that way,” he said. “It would be bad enough if they ever found out about each other. Can you imagine how much worse it would be if they started comparing gifts, and noticed any discrepencies?”

Tromardi hopes to spend time with at least two of his “ladies” on Saturday, but admits it might be difficult to have sex with all three.

“Doesn’t mean I won’t try,” he added.

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