Agent buys heartfelt Valentine’s Day gift for spouse, mistress

And assistant, who he’s also screwing

agent-talk-logoICM literary agent Bob Tromardi has always been a romantic, so it was no surprise when he recently spent nearly eight full minutes at Victoria’s Secret trying to decide on a Valentine’s Day gift for all the women he’s sleeping with.

“I’m a softy,” said Tromardi, moments before purchasing three identical sets of lingerie for his various sexual partners. “But I’m also kind of old-fashioned, so I picked out the gift based on what my wife would like most. She comes first.”

The red, bedazzled lingerie marks the fourth time Tromardi has given all the women in his life the exact same present.

“I just think it’s more fair that way,” he said. “It would be bad enough if they ever found out about each other. Can you imagine how much worse it would be if they started comparing gifts, and noticed any discrepencies?”

Tromardi hopes to spend time with at least two of his “ladies” on Saturday, but admits it might be difficult to have sex with all three.

“Doesn’t mean I won’t try,” he added.

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