Rest of day wasted penning sickly sweet love stories
38-year-old aspiring screenwriter Sally Johnson has been discriminated against for the past nine years, if you believe her constant message board posts on a prominent screenwriting website.
“Hollywood is geared toward men,” she recently posted. “That’s the only reason I haven’t made it yet. Check out the stats for yourself, ladies! We have to be like SO much better to break in!”
According to Johnson, the fact that her scripts are unproduceable pieces of sentimental crap has nothing to do with her inability to join the professional screenwriting fraternity.
“Just look at the word ‘fraternity’,” she said. “Why not a sorority? I’ll tell you why: because men don’t want women telling stories that matter. Plus, they’re scared women viewers will come out in force, proving female-driven movies are way more lucrative than all those dumb explode-a-thons.”
When asked about the success of female writers like Dana Fox and Lorene Scafaria, Johnson quickly changed the subject.
“I mean, seriously, that’s why I can’t get read,” she said. “It’s because the moment someone sees ‘Sally Johnson’ on the cover, they toss the script directly into the garbage. What year is this, 1959?”