Frantic writer struggles to finish awful script before Nicholl deadline

Poorly plotted thriller submitted just in time, as if it matters

nicholl-fellowshipAspiring screenwriter Jeff Bradley wasted three sick days and further alienated his live-in girlfriend as he frantically put the finishing touches on his clichéd, paint-by-numbers Nicholl entry that is sure to be eliminated in the first round of evaluations.

“I really poured my heart and soul into this one,” said Bradley, referring to his attempted thriller ‘Hookdagger’ about the Cleveland-area drug trade. “It was a ton of work, but I got the script in just under the wire at 11:51 p.m. Let’s hope it pays off.”

While Bradley is pretty sure the entry will at least make the quarterfinals, his girlfriend thought otherwise.

“Oh my God, it’s so terrible,” she said. “I couldn’t even get through the first 10 pages. It’s probably time Jeff and I break up, anyway. You don’t see me being all obsessed with a career I’m obviously not talented enough to succeed at.”

According to Nicholl Fellowship sources, approximately one out of every 645 scripts entered is even readable.

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