Anxiously eyes bathroom while rolling calls
Moments after polishing off his second bottled water of the morning, CAA assistant Tony Anderson knew it was a mistake.
“I felt that dreaded tingle in my bladder,” he said. “Anytime I have that tingle before 10:30, I know there’s gonna be trouble come 11:45 or so when my legs inevitably start shaking uncontrollably, and the tingle turns to sharp shooting pain. Why do I always do this to myself?”
If Anderson had a normal job, the Princeton grad would simply take a quick restroom break and remedy the situation. But the life of an assistant is anything but normal, as evidenced by the lengths Anderson has gone to make sure he doesn’t miss a single one of his boss’s calls.
“I remember back in November when I had food poisoning,” said Anderson. “Probably the worst week of my life. Thank God for Depends.”
Still, Anderson’s doctor thinks the overworked assistant should consider a career change.
“For a 25-year-old, he does seem to have an inordinate number of bladder infections,” said Dr. Mark Grissom. “His blood pressure is also about 200% higher than I’d like to see.”