Agent’s assistant 75% sure he can hold it until lunch

Anxiously eyes bathroom while rolling calls

agent-talk-logoMoments after polishing off his second bottled water of the morning, CAA assistant Tony Anderson knew it was a mistake.

“I felt that dreaded tingle in my bladder,” he said. “Anytime I have that tingle before 10:30, I know there’s gonna be trouble come 11:45 or so when my legs inevitably start shaking uncontrollably, and the tingle turns to sharp shooting pain. Why do I always do this to myself?”

If Anderson had a normal job, the Princeton grad would simply take a quick restroom break and remedy the situation. But the life of an assistant is anything but normal, as evidenced by the lengths Anderson has gone to make sure he doesn’t miss a single one of his boss’s calls.

“I remember back in November when I had food poisoning,” said Anderson. “Probably the worst week of my life. Thank God for Depends.”

Still, Anderson’s doctor thinks the overworked assistant should consider a career change.

“For a 25-year-old, he does seem to have an inordinate number of bladder infections,” said Dr. Mark Grissom. “His blood pressure is also about 200% higher than I’d like to see.”


Filed under Agent Talk, Industry News

2 responses to “Agent’s assistant 75% sure he can hold it until lunch

  1. Janet

    Oh man, I remember having a boss like this. As soon as she got up to go down the hall to the photocopier I would jump up and race to the bathroom like my AAAASS was on fire.

    She also used to stand over me and take out five minutes from our very busy day to instruct me how to use the stapler. Also where I was to keep the stapler placed on my desk. God, I hated her so much. But also, I never learned as much re running an office as I did from her. Or maybe how not to run an office 😉

    Everyone on the hall called me Number Eight as I was the eighth assistant this office had. There were bets re how long I would last. I did it longer than anybody before or after me = 13 months. It almost killed me.

  2. hollywoodroaster

    Ah, that stapler situation is good stuff. Thanks Janet.

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