Angry producer demands less original draft

‘I explicitly requested a Superbad knockoff’

A development meeting at Mosaic nearly turned into a fistfight yesterday when producer Alex White went ballistic on first-time writer Josh Ellingsley, who dared to turn in what White termed “an original take” on the prodco’s teen comedy idea.

“It’s so nice you’ve decided to add your own voice to this piece,” said White, referring to Ellingsley’s script ‘Ultranerds’ about three dorky friends who vow to rig the voting for prom king and queen so the popular kids don’t win. “I guess the only problem is that I explicitly fucking told you I wanted a ‘Superbad’ knockoff. What’s this bullshit with the cancer subplot?”

Ellingsley, who is being paid guild minimum for the job – but has yet to receive a dime – defended his plot choices.

“This is much more emotionally powerful,” he said. “I really think teens will respond to Ralphy’s plight as he battles cancer and tries to get a date for prom at the same time. It’s got heart and it’s got laughs.”

According to witnesses, White patiently waited until the tyro scribe was done talking, then mock-wiped his ass with the script, lit it on fire and spent the next twenty minutes berating Ellingsley for being “stupid, slow and retarded.”

“Alex was probably a little harsh on the kid,” said Mosaic assistant Bob Cantrell. “He probably should have stopped shouting once Josh peed himself and agreed to remove any semblance of originality.”

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