Self-published novel won’t be adapted for screen

Amazon ranking of 1,220,408 fails to impress producers

It turns out Sandra Blank’s debut novel ‘Candy Love Karma’ will not be the basis of a major motion picture, despite the author’s every hope it would somehow kick off her screenwriting career.

“I mean, how many people can say they’ve had something published?” asked Blank, who has 2,000 copies of the novel stacked in her garage and recently changed her email sig to ‘Sandra Blank, published novelist.’ “So I paid some website to print it for me. Big deal. The point is I’m a working author, and Hollywood should recognize that. Most screenwriters have never even tried to write a book.”

Unfortunately, Blank’s 594-page novel is a winding tale through the mind of a moron, says WME reader Josh Brundell.

“The worst 10 pages I’ve read since I covered that one script about baby ninjas,” he remarked. “The idea that this book could in any way serve as the inspiration for a movie is so laughable, so utterly inconceivable, I almost think it might actually work as a spoof.”

Blank is currently working on her follow-up book tentatively titled ‘Chocolate Hate Fate.’

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2 Comments

Filed under Industry News, Writers

2 responses to “Self-published novel won’t be adapted for screen

  1. This sounds suspiciously like a 160-page script I actually read. It came with a nearly 15 page pitch letter, including a complete proposal for a marketing campaign.

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