Veteran scribe hasn’t paid for breakfast since 1994
Sitcom writer Brent Ellard has won four Emmys over the course of his impressive career, but he’s most proud of another achievement: not paying for breakfast since he broke in as a writer’s assistant on Seinfeld 15 years ago.
“Normal people have no idea the rush you get gorging on free bagels and Danishes every day,” said Ellard, between bites of the breakfast taco he grabbed from the craft service table. “Being part of the creative process is fine, I guess, but really it’s mostly about the food.”
Ellard, who’s gained nearly 80 pounds since he started writing for television, says he feels bad for the vast majority of Americans who are forced to wait in drive-thru lines for Egg McMuffins and coffee.
“Look at this fucking spread they put out for me,” he said, pointing to the vast array of breakfast items, fruits and beverages available to the writing staff each morning. “I can’t remember the last time I cracked an egg. Seriously, society has changed so much since I last made an omelet, eggs might not even come in shells anymore.”
When asked if he would rather give up creative control of one of his scripts, or his free breakfasts for a week, Ellard didn’t hesitate.
“At the end of the day it’s just a TV show. We’re not making movies here,” he said. “But there’s no replacing a free Krispy Kreme at 10:30 in the morning…or whenever I feel like rolling into work.”