Producer wonders if main character’s love interest could be a zombie instead

‘It would really spice things up’ he says of dramatic thriller

Screenwriter Allan Goldblatt thought producer Mark Smith was joking about re-imagining the fireman’s wife as a zombie, but the ten awkward seconds of silence that followed suggest Smith may in fact have been serious about the change.

“I’ve heard some pretty terrible notes before, but that one takes the cake,” said Goldblatt. “I’d love to see him tell the retired fireman who wrote the book this script is based on that we decided to make his caring wife a bloodthirsty zombie instead.”

According to Smith, he was simply trying to make the script more studio-friendly.

“Zombies are big right now,” he said. “Judging by the look on Allan’s face, you’d think I was trying to fuck his sister or something. I mean, how badass would it be if the wife was like this horny zombie ‘cougar,’ cheating on the husband left and right – but he never has any proof because she keeps eating her lovers! Now that’s what I call drama!”

Goldblatt was last seen meandering into the ocean, fully clothed, at high tide.

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