Economy, schlocky films mostly to blame
Repentance reached a seven-year high in Hollywood on Monday, with industry professionals atoning for a variety of sins committed in the last 12 months.
“This is typically a busy day with all the adultery, lying and thieving that goes on in town,” said Rabbi Meshnea of Beverly Hills. “But with a year like this, we were forced to schedule additional services. We even had a special prayer session limited exclusively to people associated with Jennifer’s Body.”
According to Meshnea, the economy didn’t help matters, combining with Yom Kippur to create “a perfect storm” of people seeking mercy from God in these troubled times.