Atonement up 19% from Yom Kippur 2008

Economy, schlocky films mostly to blame

Repentance reached a seven-year high in Hollywood on Monday, with industry professionals atoning for a variety of sins committed in the last 12 months.

“This is typically a busy day with all the adultery, lying and thieving that goes on in town,” said Rabbi Meshnea of Beverly Hills. “But with a year like this, we were forced to schedule additional services. We even had a special prayer session limited exclusively to people associated with Jennifer’s Body.”

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According to Meshnea, the economy didn’t help matters, combining with Yom Kippur to create “a perfect storm” of people seeking mercy from God in these troubled times.

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