‘Twilight’ frenzy causes Earth to stop spinning

Most significant planetary event since Big Bang

The Earth literally paused on its axis this weekend as a direct effect of the immeasurable hysteria created by the teen vampire sequel New Moon.

“We’ve been monitoring the situation since early summer,” said MIT professor Lance Bauman. “The trailer alone sent shockwaves through the planet felt on both poles and every continent in between. Once the actual film hit theatres on Thursday, it was simply too much for the universe to bear.”

And so the globe ceased to spin, breaking the laws of physics and sending scientists into a panic.

“I was actually at the Mann Criterion watching New Moon when I got the text from my boss telling me to get back to the lab asap,” said NASA physicist Rob Stokely. “As soon as the movie ended, I rushed over to the field office. Man, that Robert Pattinson is hot…how could Bella even be confused? Oh, and we’ll all probably die because of gravitational forces and whatever.”


1 Comment

Filed under Industry News

One response to “‘Twilight’ frenzy causes Earth to stop spinning

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s