The 2009 Turkey List

Introducing Hollywood’s most questionable spec scripts of the year. Wow.

2009 Turkey List (PDF)

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4 Comments

Filed under Industry News, Script Track

4 responses to “The 2009 Turkey List

  1. Well done, fella… I fell for this hook line and sinker.

  2. Curt Burdick

    This list ties-in perfectly with a recent Press Release….

    November 24th, 2009 – Branson, MO

    A remake of “The 39 Steps” is in the works.

    ToyMakers Productions announced the simultaneous rights acquisition to the film title from the estate of novel writer, John Buchan, as well as that of the perennial toy favorite, Slinky, from Poof Products, Inc. ToyMakers won the rights to Slinky in a minor bidding war that was remarkable for the fact that it was kept out of the entertainment industry spotlight and rumor mill. Nikki Finke only learned of it after the deal was done and chose not to report on it. Unconfirmed sources have speculated on rumors that ToyMakers may have obtained financing through a highly complex, but global revolving line of credit using derivative reverse futures and involving steel manufacturing companies which could provide the new template for studio financing arrangements.

    Stewart Cool, CEO of ToyMakers, made the announcement at a hastily arranged press conference in front of the new Toy Hall of Fame Museum relocated to Branson, Missouri. The museum and nearby motels and entertainment venues have, reportedly, been doing a brisk business catering to countless Hollywood studio and production company honchos making the pilgrimage to the suddenly high-profile location. Celebrity sightings have also been reported although not confirmed since it’s believed the use of disguises has hidden the identity of many although not all, such as Jon Stewart.

    Wainwright Hipman, EVP at ToyMakers, commented that their rights acquisition binge will not stop with Skinky. They have their eyes on a number of other high-profile but overlooked toy franchises. Unconfirmed speculation centers on the Duncan Yo Yo brand and iconic toy franchise, Etch-a-Sketch, although an executive at The Ohio Art Company refused comment. The cross-marketing opportunities reportedly had several unnamed, studio marketing executives interviewed at the museum literally salivating. One, who will also remain nameless, peed his pants when he learned of the unconfirmed but highly placed, unattributed, but widely circulated rumors.

    The news has thrust ToyMakers Productions into the upper echelons of mini-major production companies. A studio deal is reportedly being negotiated. The Slinky writing assignment is out to the major agencies. A number of low level industry sources seemed to have confirmed that writing team, Curt & Scott Burdick, have the inside track because of their recent but uncredited work on other high profile, studio generated concepts involving steps.

  3. You almost had me until I got to this one:

    JOCK WITCH
    by Ben Harlan
    A man struggles with an itch “down there” only to realize a tiny
    witch has been living in his pants, wreaking havoc and forcing
    him to be a womanizer.

    It’s kind of a sad commentary on the business that I found the others before it feasible.

  4. hollywoodroaster

    @clive: thanks man.

    @emily: don’t be sad. Wasabi Wayne is gonna be great!

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