Top 10 Film Industry New Year’s Resolutions

10. No more Botox until June.
9.  Stop cheating on my wife with my assistant.
8. Stop cheating on my assistant with transvestite hookers.
7. Read cousin’s script like I promised, but only if there’s time and it doesn’t suck.
6. Give myself one last year to make it or it’s back to Maine to take over dad’s furniture restoration business.
5. 20% more hair plugs.
4. Make a quality film or at least get insanely rich while making a shitty one.
3. Get on the Facebook.
2. Ruin someone’s career and/or screw their wife, then tell the whole town.
1. Be more like Judd Apatow.

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