Writer working for free can’t figure out why pro scribes hate him

‘Those hacks are just jealous’ he claims

Aspiring screenwriter Josh Wellmeyer recently took a break from five different unpaid “assignments” to address allegations that his free work is hurting other scribes, as well as the screenwriting community as a whole.

“Bullshit,” he said. “We’re all on an even playing field. I just happen to be a hundred thousand dollars less expensive than many of the pros, most of whom are hacks anyway.”

Added Wellmeyer: “Once you get past the huge money gap, it’s all about talent.”

Wellmeyer has even gone so far as to contend his actions are helping other writers.

“Those established guys are lazy as hell,” he said. “I’ve got like six assignments lined up and I haven’t had to pitch hardly anything. In some ways, I’m pushing those older writers to work harder for their money. I sure am!”

Producers couldn’t be happier with writers like Wellmeyer.

“It’s awesome. They totally devalue writers, making the process cheaper for us,” said an AMPTP spokesperson. “Sure, their work is kinda terrible, but we can always bring in a talented writer to fix it later. And since they’re so desperate, we can pay them a lot less than before. Thank you Josh Wellmeyer. Thank you.”

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