Desperate studio exec can’t find a single original idea in all of Netflix

‘Where else am I supposed to look?’

Confused studio exec Marvin Jones searched Netflix.com for six hours yesterday, but was unable to find anything that hadn’t already been turned into a movie.

“Why is this so hard?” he complained, close to tears. “It’s almost like I have no clue how to locate — or even recognize — original ideas. Do they mean like ‘original’ as in ‘before 1987?’”

Jones isn’t alone.

With remakes and adaptations failing at the box office this summer, Hollywood’s big wigs are turning to original ideas. They just don’t know where to find them.

“I heard a story about some producer back in the 90’s who made an original film,” said Disney exec Jennifer Wilson. “I wonder how he discovered it…like in a book or something? Hey, we should make a movie about that – the search for ideas. Does that count?”

Instead of turning to screenwriters, many confused studio execs have scoured toy store shelves, tabloid pages, other studios’ websites, and comic book stores.

“We’ll find that next original idea,” vowed Wilson. “Maybe it’s on a cereal box, or maybe it’s already been shot for television. Either way, we’ll deliver audiences something they’ve never seen before, at least not in theatres…during the last decade or so.”

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