Hollywood proposes on/off switch for moviegoers’ brains

Town’s best innovation in years

The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers recently held a special press conference to unveil their response to slumping box office numbers.

“We call it the FlickSwitch,” said AMPTP spokesperson Mark Noble. “It’s a small toggle device that is surgically implanted into the audience member’s head, allowing them to literally turn off their brains while watching whatever dreck we’ve slapped together this month.”

The move saves the industry the hassle of producing better content.

“That’s really difficult,” said one producer, who has a deal with Fox. “This new brain thing will be the best thing to happen to film since special effects, and that’s really saying something.”

Before settling on FlickSwitch, officials considered other, more descriptive names for the revolutionary device.

“We almost dubbed it the ShitToggler, but the double-t was confusing,” said Noble. “Then there was the OscarMaker, but we couldn’t secure the rights. At the end of the day, the name doesn’t matter, especially since people will have their brains turned off anyway.”

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