Hidden Valley Ranchers
Period piece based on the popular salad dressing.
Other World Cup
The United States soccer team is recruited by the government to face off in the first-ever intergalactic football tournament.
Michael Bay pitch.
A car salesman gets his hands on a magical iPhone that gives its owner unprecedented powers of persuasion.
Writer: Allan Beck
Caught up in the reality show craze, Darth Vader forces his underlings to compete in a talent competition to determine who will get to press the button on that laser destroying Leia’s home planet.
Provocative Fucking Title
Writer: Johnny Steel
What A Croc
Based on the popular footwear brand, this taut drama centers on a man who can’t find comfortable shoes that don’t make him feel like a douchebag.
Writer: Kevin Smith
A bunch of geeks hack their way into a pharmaceutical drug company’s system and steal a top-secret nasal decongestant formula.
Writer: Tad Devine
The security guard of a fast food restaurant takes down a group of armed robbers.
Based on the 2007 Chicago Tribune article.
Wings Of My Sisters
Touching romantic comedy about four women who band together to find their lonely, introverted friend a husband. Jennifer Aniston rumored to star.
Writer: Lisa Margaret Reilly-Hartnett
An angst-riddled teenager takes over the New York mafia. Drama.
Writer: Rich Carcetti
Pilot Of My Heart
A lonely housewife’s world is turned upside down when a plane crashes in her backyard. She nurses the pilot back to health and fixes his plane…but will he fly out of her life forever?
Based on a pitch by the woman who played “Susan” on that one 80s sitcom. Lifetime circling.
Sequel to the Roland Emmerich blockbuster of the same name. German-born effects wizard “Friedrich” attached to do the CGI.
The 14 Colonies
Revisionist take on the beginning of America, where one of the original colonies was comprised of zombies.
Writer: Hanley O’Brien
New Year’s Weave
A bald man resolves to change his life with a new hairpiece.
Based on the classic SNL skit.
Raunchy action-comedy about an elite group of air force pilots who chase trim all over the Middle East.
Writer: Burke Wood
A 77-year-old man goes back to high school to finally get his diploma.
Based on the November 2008 Baltimore Sun article.
Set in 1987, an obscure brand of gum turns everyone who chews it into a total preppy.
Writer: Bob Grills
Set entirely on an escalator. In the vein of Buried.
An unscrupulous producer intentionally makes a crappy movie, hoping to immediately sell the remake rights so someone can “put a new spin on it.”
Based on 269 true stories.
The Dragon Layer
After a fire-breathing dragon has killed all the knights in the kingdom, a beautiful princess must seduce the beast into submission.
Writer: Tony Brondo
This 150-page tome chronicles the lives of an average family who reside, unremarkably, on the world’s most boring street. Indie producers swirling.
Writer: Anthony LaGris Bollem
The Alamo 2
Texas Governor Rick Perry leads an effort to secede from the United States, only to have his forces wiped out at a local Alamo Car Rental location.
Writer: Johnny Killeen
They Might Not Be Giants
New twist on Jack & The Beanstalk, in which Jack finds a world full of tiny people up there.
Writer: Alex Garamond
Cinco De Mayonnaise
Based on the popular condiment. Plot being kept under sandwich wrap. Zing!
Raisins In The Shade
Revolves around a retirement community not in Florida, but rural Illinois.
Writer: Jack Wendell
1,000 years after man’s extinction, a group of astronauts return to Earth and find the planet over-run by fauna and wildlife.
Based on that show “Life After People.”
Voicemail From Hell
Horror. The Devil leaves 666 people a voicemail on their cellphones. If they listen to it, they die.
Writer: James Wan
A Martian travels to Earth and begins an illicit affair with the President’s wife, making people question everything they thought they knew about interplanetary love.
Writer: Lisa Steckerman
The Gargoyle Next Door
Plot being kept under wraps. Disney and Warner Brothers circling.
Upon learning the mental institution across the street has better tapioca pudding, a man living in a retirement home tries to get himself committed. Only problem? Nobody believes he’s crazy! Gosh darnit!
Writer: Jack Palone