‘She’s great in a room’
Sheila the receptionist is finally getting her shot to write a feature film, thanks in no small part to the fact she lets Paramount exec Ronny Halperin “have his way with her” every Tuesday afternoon in her Santa Monica studio apartment.
“I’ve always loved Hollywood!” exclaimed Sheila Madison, 22, a high school graduate. “So I told Ronny, I said ‘hey Ronny, can I write that new movie about the crime guys and stuff?’”
According to Madison, Halperin initially laughed at the idea, but he quickly changed his mind when she threatened to tell his wife about their arrangement.
“I can’t wait to start coming up with ideas for my movie,” said Madison. “I’m pretty sure I want the main character to be played by Reese Witherspoon. She’s hilarious!”
This marks the second time screenwriter Bob Thomas has been replaced on a project by someone who has no writing experience. The previous incident involved a producer’s unemployed nephew.
Cinco de Gay-O
A homophobic lawyer mysteriously turns gay for 24 hours, and must somehow get through his company’s Cinco de Mayo festivities without cheating on his fiancée, but he also has to learn a valuable lesson that nobody – no matter their lifestyle – should be discriminated against.
Writer: Tony Gilroy
Based on the true story of a fashion reporter who had like two million Twitter followers, but gave it all up for the love of her life, a man who didn’t even have a Facebook page.
Reese Witherspoon attached to star.
A ragtag group of basketball-playing pirates have wild adventures on the high seas.
Writer: Johnny Phelps
The Fax Man
Dark comedy about a recluse whose only communication with the outside world is his trusty fax machine – which suddenly breaks. Talk about a fish out of water!
Based on a 17-year-old script by Ben Stiller.
Leaders of the Pack
Set in the competitive world of sheep herding.
Writer: Magnus Johansson
Beverly Hills Chainsaw Manicure
Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Clueless. Reese Witherspoon in talks to star.
Gay buddy comedy.
Writer: Carson Kressley