Tag Archives: Santa Claus

CAA lawyer rejects unsolicited gift from Santa Claus

Norelco shaver sent back to North Pole unopened

Shortly after discovering a green and red package marked “from Santa” under his Christmas tree, Creative Artists Agency lawyer John Hansen brought the present to his local UPS Store and shipped it back to the North Pole.

“Although I appreciate your holiday spirit, I have a firm policy of returning all unsolicited material,” Hansen wrote to Santa Claus. “Accordingly, I am forwarding your present back to you, unopened. To the extent that your gift is similar to what someone else may have given me, the similarities are purely coincidental.”

Unfortunately, the package was actually a gift from his wife.

“He’s like some sort of automaton,” said Brenda Hansen. “Anytime he comes across something he didn’t ask for, he rejects it. The other day we were at the Olive Garden and he demanded they take back his glass of water.”

Asked if she would replace the gift, Brenda wasn’t sure.

“I guess I’ll have to ask him first, just to go through the proper channels,” she said. “It’s too bad, because I think he really would have liked that shaver.”

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Santa too depressed to deliver gifts after watching 20 minutes of Jay Leno

‘Not so jolly anymore’ he laments

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Unmerry Christmas for UTA: Santa switches to Endeavor

Elves to stay put at UTA–for now

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