Tag Archives: Uwe Boll

Script Track – January 5, 2010

Thin As Thieves
Two overweight men decide on a new fad diet: to only eat what they can steal.
Based on the November 2008 New York Times article.

Huffers
Set in the competitive and surprisingly quirky world of glue huffing.
Writer: Diablo Cody

Hack To The Future
Uwe Boll is sent 150 years into the future, to a time when movies have been completely replaced by online videos. Can today’s vapid director teach tomorrow’s vapid society the art of the moving picture?
Writer: N/A

Harlem Globefathers
The fathers of the famous basketball team challenge their sons to a charity game, but when the dads win, they decide to join the league for real.
Bill Cosby and Kareem Abdul Jabbar in talks to star.
Based on a pitch by Bill Cosby.

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Uwe Boll miffed only three of his films on Metacritic’s ‘worst of decade’ list

‘What about Postal or BloodRayne?’ he wonders

With nearly 30 films under his belt, writer-director Uwe Boll is prolific by any standard. He’s also known for being the biggest hack in the industry, so when only three of his films appeared on Metacritic’s “Worst Movies of the Decade” list, Boll was understandably upset.

“Each movie I make is another chance to cement my spot as the worst auteur in Hollywood. I take that very seriously,” he said. “At first glance, yes, more of my movies made the list than anyone else’s, but only three? There could have been a dozen, at least.”

Boll’s trio of films deemed horrendous enough to warrant “worst” status were House of the Dead, In The Name of The King and Alone In The Dark, with miserable scores of 30, 15 and 9, respectively.

“On top of the fact that they didn’t even include my other works like Postal, BloodRayne and Blackwoods, I also had just one film with a single digit score,” he complained. “It’s bullshit.”

But it isn’t all bad, says Boll. According to the German-born director, Metacritic has basically issued him a challenge, and it’s one he intends to meet with his entire arsenal of bad storylines, terrible direction and objectionable themes.

“This next decade will be my worst yet,” said Boll. “I guarantee it.”

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Uwe Boll’s ‘Blood Sergeant’ snubbed by Austin Film Festival

Controversial German helmer decries elitist judges

uweWhen you’re the creative force behind a film about a psychotic Miami police sergeant hellbent on avenging the murder of his twin sisters, you don’t expect to be shut out of the Austin Film Festival.

At least not if your name is Uwe Boll.

“It is a shit move,” he said, referring to the festival’s decision not to accept his latest R-rated bloodbath. “They let in some boring Charlize Theron movie, but apparently my bullet-riddled romp through Florida’s mafia-controlled gambling scene is not good enough for them.”

When asked why his 92-minute pic starring an unknown kick boxer deserved to be screened at the festival, Boll turned angry.

“The main character kills 23 different people,” he said. “What more do you want to know? Oh, here’s a tidbit: his twin sisters were murdered by the European drug dealer he’s chasing. Feel stupid now?”

This is the 12th straight year Boll has been shut out of the festival.

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Uwe Boll accidentally shoots good scene

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Script Track – January 27, 2009

Dog Shrink
A disgraced psychiatrist discovers a second career as a pet shrink, only to suspect his first canine patient, a Rottweiler, is a serial cat murderer. Oh no!
Writer: Todd Rodanthe

Feelings & Emotions
A young couple goes out to dinner and spends the whole time talking about love, marriage and how they feel about companionship.
Writer: Diane English
Meg Ryan attached to star.

Shlockabilly
Uwe Boll country-western pic. Exact plot being kept under wraps, mostly because it’s so laughable it would scare off potential investors.

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