Tag Archives: WGA

Iowa man sets WGA record by registering 50th script before selling his first

‘$1,000 small price to pay for peace of mind’ he claims

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WGA study reveals 93% of screenwriters need more validation

Could also use additional praise and sympathy

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WGA’s sole function is to keep new writers out, decides terrible writer

‘They also don’t want members from Ohio’ he claims

wga-logoWere it not for the Writer’s Guild and its draconian practice of making sure writers get paid decent wages, Cleveland scribe and part-time shoe salesman Eric Denson would be penning most of the movies and TV shows produced in Hollywood.

“I keep telling companies I’ll write their movies for like 20 bucks,” said Denson. “But since they’re WGA signatories, they have to pay me like $60,000 minimum or something like that. And if they’re going to pay someone that much, it’s not going to be a guy from Ohio. The Guild screws me again!”

According to Denson, whose script ‘The Coldest Icicle’ was recently bounced from Scriptapalooza in the first round, the Writer’s Guild is a “cabal of connected old white males who care more about money and health care than they do movies.”

When asked if he thought the Guild was biased against writers not based in Los Angeles, Denson snorted.

“Of course they don’t want people like me in their little club,” he complained. “I’m exactly what they’re afraid of: a totally unknown guy from Ohio who is willing to work for free.”

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Study reveals 88% of screenwriters fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

Other 12% deemed ‘miraculously normal-looking’

The image of a pale, slovenly writer hunched over a laptop is surprisingly accurate, a new UCLA study has revealed.

“These people are ugly as sin,” said Dr. Michael Lee, director of UCLA’s sociology department. “Our research shows writers – and screenwriters in particular – have the highest ugly-to-profession ratio we’ve seen since, well, ever. Even Russian sheep herders are more attractive.”

While “ugliness” isn’t easy to quantify, Lee claims a variety of physiological characteristics help them create a matrix with which to accurately judge a writer’s appearance.

“The existence of moles on the forehead, for example,” said Lee. “Weak jaw lines. Love handles. Hair on the back, neck or ears. Another common trait is the condition known as ‘triple-chin.’ And that’s just the women!”

And what of the lucky 12% deemed average or above average in appearance?

“I’m still convinced that number is 9% or less,” said Lee. “Either way, those fortunate few dodged quite a bullet to somehow be able to write and also show their face in public.”

The WGA has filed a complaint with UCLA, claiming the study doesn’t take into account the many wannabe writers, who are generally much more attractive than the successful ones.

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Screenwriter meets two more producers who will never hire him

WGA member Steve Delkin’s last paid writing gig was in 2004, but that hasn’t stopped the insurance salesman from going to yet another dead-end meeting with producers.

“You don’t walk into a meeting thinking it will lead to work,” said Delkin, moments after meeting with Suzanne and Jennifer Todd of Team Todd. “The key is to plant enough seeds around town, and eventually one of them will grow into an assignment.”

The theory has yet to work for Delkin, who gained notoriety in 2004 when his spec comedy ‘Drama Zone’ was purchased by Paramount. Since that project ended, however, Delkin has met with 168 different producers and development people without landing more work.

“I’m not a one-hit wonder,” said Delkin. “Technically, I am, but the point is I’m out there meeting people…something’s going to break.”

In the meantime, Delkin has “rediscovered his flair for sales” as a life insurance agent for State Farm.

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