Tag Archives: William Morris

WMA and Endeavor nix merger just to prove Nikki Finke wrong

‘Her shrill reign of terror has gone on long enough’ say agency officials

finke-logoNegotiations between William Morris and Endeavor had been riddled with personnel and structural disagreements for weeks, but the agencies finally agreed to call off merger talks for a surprising reason yesterday: to prove Nikki Finke wrong.

“[Finke] always tries to get ahead of the news like some shrill gossip columnist,” said WMA chief Jim Wiatt, referring to Finke’s hyperbolic prediction last month that the deal would eventually go through. “She’s had a nice run at the top, but this is Hollywood, so we figured it was her time to go down.”

Endeavor’s Ari Emanuel agreed, noting that negotiations were actually progressing quite nicely until someone brought up the idea of nixing the deal to spite the LA Weekly columnist.

“On the one hand it’s tough because she’s basically in love with me,” said Emanuel. “We pretty much treat her like an extension of our PR department. At the same time, who can stand her? The idea of showing everyone how clueless she really is…well that was just too good to pass up, for everyone involved.”

When asked if spite was worth a deal that could benefit both companies, Emanuel shrugged.

“Only time will tell,” he said. “It’s not like we needed a new music division anyway.”


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Jewish writer surprisingly unfunny

Hollywood reps disappointed by scribe’s work, despite ‘promising’ last name

Aspiring screenwriter Michael Goldenbergstein should be cranking out hilarious scripts left and right, claims Endeavor agent Josh Hanson.

He just isn’t.

“It’s like the guy isn’t even Jewish at all,” said Hanson. “I figured he might be the next Woody Allen or Larry David, but now I’m thinking he’s just German or Polish or whatever. Talk about a letdown.”

Hanson wasn’t the only rep taken in by Goldenbergstein’s query letter.

“You see a name like that attached to a script called ‘Beer Run,’ and you get your hopes up,” said Brent McGowan of William Morris. “But I gotta tell you…I didn’t laugh once. Chosen, my ass. This guy probably hasn’t eaten a bagel in years.”

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